How do I say, how do I say?

What's to talk about?  I think I'll just embarrass myself.

Top Ten Silly Things I Do, Like or Enjoy

10.  Leaving time on the microwave.
Pete hates when I stop the microwave a few seconds before it's going to beep and don't clear the time off.  Maybe that's why I continuously do it.  He'll never know.  (;

9.  Singing extra loud in church.
I, unfortunately, was not gifted with a beautiful singing voice.  My mother once told me I "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket".  Perhaps that traumatised me?  At any rate, I LOVE SINGING and I sing A LOT, always along to every song because I know tons of lyrics.  I've been doing it for years, and I sometimes think it's not as bad as it was when I was younger.  Anyway.  I don't care that I have a not-so-amazing voice.  In church, I sing hymns loudly because I don't want people to think I'm ashamed of my voice, weak as it is.  Well!  Two Sundays ago, a lady actually turned around and said "I think you have a lovely voice".  Maybe she felt really sorry for me, or maybe she actually thought that.  Either way, I'm not about to turn down the jam anytime soon!

8.  Pretending to be a barista.
We have a cute, little espresso machine at work.  I like to do challenges to see how pretty I can make my drinks.  I'd never cut it as a barista IRL, but it's sure fun to foam the hell outta my 2% every morning. 

7.  Secretly liking entertainment news.
When ET Canada or eTalk comes on Global, I groan and say SUCH TRASH and BORING!  Secretly, though, I love these shows.  I can't stand to watch them for more than half an hour (which is probably why they're only ever that long) but I do get a weird sense of satisfaction out of watching them.  It's like reading a magazine without, you know, all those words.

6.  Hiding my Monopoly money.
This is a dumb strategy that I learned from my little sister.  Whenever we'd play Monopoly as kids (Monopoly Junior, actually) we'd slip some of our money under our bums and sit on it until it was juuuuust right.  We did this to trick one another into thinking that we had less money than we did, and then KA-BLAM!  We'd lace the board with itty bitty hotels and laugh maniacally.  We termed this extra cash "butt money", and I still tend to think of my savings in such a way.

5.  Frequenting People of Walmart
WHY do I like this site so much?  It's trashy and mean.  GO!  GO!  You won't be able to help it, either.

4.  Changing the words to popular songs.
I have no idea why, but I like to alter the lyrics to songs to suit the situation in which I happen to be listening to them.  For example, here are a few of my past gems:
"She's got eggs!  And she knows how to eat 'em!"
"Won't you take me to Peteytown?"
"Slow down, you're movin' too fast / You've gotta make that diaper last / Just wipin' down the baby's bum / Plugging my nose and feelin' poopy!"

3.  Dropping random 1337 phrases.
This isn't a cool thing to do at all, but I like to do it anyway.  I'm going to avoid cliche by choosing to forgo writing in 1337 during my 1337 explanation.  That, my friends, is how I roll.

2.  Holding my breath during underwater scenes.
I just need to know I could rescue somebody if anything bad were to happen.  The longest I've done so far seems to be when Scotty was in that water pipe in the new Star Trek.  I really thought I was gonna pass out!  And be reminded that I have a handicap in that I'm sitting on my sofa and don't have a huge adrenaline rush.  Getting that pumping's gotta add a least, like, fifteen seconds or something.

1.  Being a Steven and Chris superfan.
This was my mat leave show!  I now stream it every day on my lunch at work, and am periodically made fun of for it.  I DON'T CARE, IT IS GREAT.  These dudes are super funny, super informative (waa waa, shut up, they are too), and super Canadian.  What more do you want?  Honestly!  If I lived in Toronto, I would go to a taping at least once a week.  They give out awesome stuff to the audience!  I was devastated when Stephen Harper was a bum to the CBC last year and these guys missed a season.  UGH.