ÿþ<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-16"?> <rss xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xmlns:xsd="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema" version="2.0"> <channel> <description>petelorri</description> <item> <description>My poor website!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; After much cajoling from loved ones, I&amp;nbsp;have decided to resurrect this webcomic. &amp;nbsp;I'm not sure that I'll keep up with the weekly updates (I&amp;nbsp;gotta change that logo tagline!)&amp;nbsp;because I don't wanna post crap.&amp;nbsp; I guess that's part of the reason why I&amp;nbsp;stopped, I&amp;nbsp;sort of ran out of funny ideas and didn't want to disappoint.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;p&gt;I've had a number of &amp;quot;wow, that'd make a good Comicsans!&amp;quot; moments in the past month or so, so I'll use up those ideas and see what happens!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I&amp;nbsp;love everyone who's still been stopping by -- my Analytics says there's been some of you!&amp;nbsp; So, thank you for investing time in a lazy person's almost-defunct website.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I'm back!&lt;/p&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=59512</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0674Z</pubDateParsed> <title>My Absence</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;p&gt;Hey, kids.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I guess you've noticed that I've been a bit unpredictable with the updates lately -- apologies!&amp;nbsp; Sometimes it's Thursday . . . and once it's even been Monday.&amp;nbsp; Can you believe?!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway. &amp;nbsp;It's coming up to a whole YEAR I've been doing this. &amp;nbsp;Even if some weeks were pretty slow (sorry) I've added at least SOMETHING every week. &amp;nbsp;For me, this is a big accomplishment.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So, I'm gonna think of a way to celebrate 52 posts and I'll let you guys know what I come up with.&amp;nbsp; A contest, perhaps!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; On another note, there was an earthquake today! &amp;nbsp;Nothing very major, but I&amp;nbsp;could definitely feel it. &amp;nbsp;While I was watching &lt;em&gt;Gossip&amp;nbsp;Girl&lt;/em&gt; on my lunch&amp;nbsp;(DON'T&amp;nbsp;YOU&amp;nbsp;JUDGE&amp;nbsp;ME) I&amp;nbsp;felt a rumbling but thought I was crazy.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Then all my workmates were like WTF, an earthquake! &amp;nbsp;So then I knew it was real.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Another thing was that I&amp;nbsp;put a reddish shirt in with my whites last night, which was fantastic.&amp;nbsp; While I have remedied most of my garments, there are few that still need some TLC.&amp;nbsp; Either way, I&amp;nbsp;felt like a frosh all over again, what with the rookie laundering skills.&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;think I&amp;nbsp;amused and frustrated my husband in equal parts, getting all loopy from the bleach.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, so that's been that.&amp;nbsp; I went to have some tests about my kidneys, so I hope I figure out what's up with them.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Tomorrow is a holiday for QUEBEC&amp;nbsp;ONLY. &amp;nbsp;Thank you, St. Jean Baptiste for being such a good baptizer.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Love!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=51480</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>A Change of Pace</title> </item> <item> <description>I have realised that I'm really a blog-neglecter.&amp;nbsp; I often complain to those who will listen (I love you all) that I miss reading and writing, but it's really my own fault.&amp;nbsp; Instead of doing something useful and writing a blog or something (though the entries themselves may be pretty useless, ahem) I waste my lunch hours watching makeup videos or reading product reviews.&amp;nbsp; I am hankering for a few items, but we will have to see how the June bonus pans out for that.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, I think I may do a few themed entries to at least provide something for you to read and for me to write.&amp;nbsp; It will stimulate the old brainsauce.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style="font-size: large;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So?&amp;nbsp; What's IN:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;GLEE&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I am totally, usually, mostly, not a fan of showtunes or musicals . . . well, I guess I am, but my husband's love of them kinda turned me off at some point.&amp;nbsp; Not sure why.&amp;nbsp; Anyway, this show has got my toes tapping!&amp;nbsp; I am always jealous of those gorgeous individuals who belt out these incredible songs and DANCE at the same time.&amp;nbsp; I can barely walk and text without bumping into some disgruntled stranger.&amp;nbsp; Well, this show is just so witty and obvious and funny.&amp;nbsp; Kurt is my favourite character.&amp;nbsp; That is all you need to know.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;SHAKESPEARE'S SONNET 130&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; This little number is a wonderful parody on those kinds of poems that compare ladies to goddesses and all that kind of hokey stuff (THAT WE LOVE TO HEAR).&amp;nbsp; I have always loved this one because it's such refreshing look at love, and also because it is poking fun at the &amp;quot;industry standard&amp;quot; of love poetry.&amp;nbsp; Given today's approach to beauty (Photoshop + Botox + good PR) I think it is absolutely divine in a modern context.&amp;nbsp; I really think he'd have kept the most intriguing blog.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.presidentschoice.ca/LCLOnline/products.jsp?type=details&amp;amp;brandId=4&amp;amp;catIds=cat40002&amp;amp;catIds=120&amp;amp;productId=prod840085"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;PRESIDENT'S CHOICE KETTLE CORN TOMATO &amp;amp; SMOKED PAPRIKA FLAVOUR&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I am a really, really big sucker for popcorn.&amp;nbsp; I don't care who you are, if you invite me out on a movie date I WILL GO WITH YOU just so I can get theatre popcorn.&amp;nbsp; It is an illness.&amp;nbsp; I often stink up our house when I invite Orville Reddenbacher over, much to to the chagrin of my spouse.&amp;nbsp; Anyway, so I saw this at the Provigo on sale and scooped it up.&amp;nbsp; That Prez sure's got good taste, 'cos this stuff is WICKED GOOD.&amp;nbsp; Don't you be a jerk and complain about the popcorn husks getting stuck in your teeth.&amp;nbsp; That is a small price to pay for this awesome snack.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://shitmykidsruined.com/"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;SHIT MY KIDS RUINED&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Just a preview on what's to come.&amp;nbsp; I am hiding everything I value.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;span style="font-size: large;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And what's OUT:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;PEOPLE TROLLING ON THE INTERWEBZ&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Eff all a y'alls!&amp;nbsp; I just really dislike those jerks who comment on blogs and FB crap to be nasty and mean and start lame Internet fights.&amp;nbsp; I'm pretty sure I can Google random shit all day to prove people wrong, too.&amp;nbsp; However, I prefer to spend my time making people happy and being insightfully positive, not being a dickwad in their blog comments.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;STREET COMMENTS&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Kinda like trolling, but these people do it in real life.&amp;nbsp; Usually it's old ladies talking directly to the baby but saying something about my parenting skills.&amp;nbsp; Like, &amp;quot;Oh, you must be too cold today without a sweater!&amp;quot; Oh, just can it, lady.&amp;nbsp; Also, people, mostly old men, who think just because I don't look like a dumpster, they can stare at me and make loser comments to me.&amp;nbsp; If I'm legally blind and I can still tell that you are looking me up and down like a fiend, you need to step it the hell off.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;STM OPUS CARDS&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The STM (the public transit people in Montreal) have implemented these new passes with a chip in them that you scan and can then get on the bus or metro.&amp;nbsp; However, I'm not sure what it is, but they seem to lose their magic really quickly.&amp;nbsp; It's particularly sucky on a rush hour morning when you swipe it and burst through the turnstile -- and it doesn't move.&amp;nbsp; Added to that, there are about ten people behind you who have started to move forward, and your thighs are gonna look like a banana that's been riding around your lunch bag for five days.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;WINDOWS&amp;nbsp;XP&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Do I really need to explain this?&amp;nbsp; I have a new laptop with Windows 7 and it's fantastic.&amp;nbsp; It could also just be that my laptop is really new and has nothing on it yet, but we'll see.&amp;nbsp; We also use Ubuntu at home, and you can't complain about bugs there because it's open source.&amp;nbsp; But, at work, I have to use XP and it just makes me mad, it is so buggy and slow.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=50867</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>IN and OUT</title> </item> <item> <description>I am not your typical woman.&amp;nbsp; Picture this: 5'9&amp;quot;, 125 lbs, 34D-27-36, with a 35&amp;quot; inseam.&amp;nbsp; And all that's after babytown.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; But trust me -- I'm not bragging.&amp;nbsp; Those are just the facts.&amp;nbsp; All that perceived goodness has its badness, don't you know.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I had a rare girls' night with my two besties and of course we talked a bit about our self-loves and self-hates.&amp;nbsp; As much as we aren't conventional women in terms of our interests (one of us is a physicist, one is a former goth who knows LaTeX, and one is, well, me) it still propped up amongst our clever banter and witty jokery.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; K, the physicist, is much like me in that she's a tall, thin girl who really shouldn't have anything to worry about in terms of her body image.&amp;nbsp; However, the challenge we both face is the gross standardisation of the retail world.&amp;nbsp; We both can't just walk into a store and find something that fits us where it really matters.&amp;nbsp; To find things that do us right, we have to go to more expensive shops or pay to have things altered.&amp;nbsp; It's just silly.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; M faces the opposite problem -- she's a petite, delicate little thing and has to chop five inches off her pants when she gets them.&amp;nbsp; All three of us are really just lovely to look at, but none of us are the average, North American woman.&amp;nbsp; We sometimes hate our bodies just because they're not what's considered &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot;.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So, anyway, I've taken to thrifting.&amp;nbsp; When I first met Mr. Watson, he mentioned that some of his super-cool threads had been purchased at various second-hand shops. Me, being the consummate fashionista and lover of fine garments, couldn't imagine buying something that &lt;em&gt;someone else had worn&lt;/em&gt;.&amp;nbsp; What if it stank?&amp;nbsp; What if there were pit stains?&amp;nbsp; GROSS.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; However, however.&amp;nbsp; Once we were expecting, my whole view on money-spending changed.&amp;nbsp; I couldn't rationalise spending over a hundred dollars on a single pair of jeans.&amp;nbsp; I didn't want to rationalise it.&amp;nbsp; Between clothes and fancy makeup, I was spending way more than was responsible considering there was a little Watson to think about.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So, after much deliberation and support from my husband, I stopped buying stuff.&amp;nbsp; I think I wore the same charcoal turtleneck a thousand times one winter . . . it popped up in so many different Facebook albums I began to try finding new ways to wear it.&amp;nbsp; Anyway, I couldn't stand not keeping up with the trends and not expressing myself through new fashion.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I've just realised this is kind of a vapid entry.&amp;nbsp; Oh well, I'm a mother now so I have to finish what I start.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;In this way, I will set a good example for the chilluns.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Okay.&amp;nbsp; So, I found the fashion blog to end all fashion blogs.&amp;nbsp; This beautiful, amazing girl runs it, and she posts second-hand items, artfully photographed and of great quality.&amp;nbsp; She's very picky and only posts things that she herself would consider buying.&amp;nbsp; It was a very, very good segue into the world of preloved clothing.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So, I've spent my weekly &amp;quot;me money&amp;quot; on her very reasonably priced (sometimes I feel like I'm stealing!) pieces, and have injected my wardrobe with so many vintage, designer and unique items.&amp;nbsp; Way more personality than what the larger retailers are pumping out season after season!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Now, I look forward to popping into the thrift stores I used to view with such disdain.&amp;nbsp; It's a real pleasure to find an awesome blouse that is actually large enough to fit my chest and small enough to fit my waist -- and pay ONE DOLLAR for it!&amp;nbsp; I mean, you have to have the right attitude, the right patience, and the right sense of what will work with and pick up on current trends, but it can be so rewarding.&amp;nbsp; As I always say to Pete, I could spend my smaller budget buying sweatshop clothes, or spend the same on quality stuff that someone else used to have tucked away in her closet.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, so that's how I've learned to balance my love of fashion with the limitations of being a responsible adult.&amp;nbsp; I just wish the weather here were nicer so that I could wear a dress or skirt every single day.&amp;nbsp; It would certainly abolish that long-inseam problem I still haven't exactly come to terms with yet.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=49210</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Passionista Fashionista</title> </item> <item> <description>Here are some typos I&amp;nbsp;regularly commit:&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; gmial.com&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; yourube.com&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; hutmail.com&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; All of those websites suck, don't visit them.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; In other news, I&amp;nbsp;got a mad bonus on my pacheque this week. &amp;nbsp;Add that to my hefty income tax return, and I'm thinking of absconding to some obscure destination for the next while.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Really, though.&amp;nbsp; My responsible husband has turned me into the kind of person who likes to save money, and then I went and turned that person into someone who's a spending prude.&amp;nbsp; In my undergrad, I wasted money like nobody's bidness . . . now I try to cut corners everywhere to make sure we can afford what we need and get deals on what we want.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I suppose becoming a mother has something to do with that as well, but you know.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway. &amp;nbsp; On another note, I'm thinking of developing a personal side to this site for me to add some of my not-loser-MS-Paint artwork and photography.&amp;nbsp; We shall see what we shall see. &amp;nbsp;I might make a whole other site for that one day.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I'm gonna be all over the World Wide Web.&amp;nbsp; HTML&amp;nbsp;4 EVA.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=48862</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>I AM AWESOMER!</title> </item> <item> <description>I think bananas are pretty interesting.&amp;nbsp; Here are some observations I have made about bananas.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;1. They are bullies.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes when&amp;nbsp;I bring a particularly powerful banana in my lunch, it makes everything else taste like a banana, too. &amp;nbsp;Sometimes, this is a wonderful surprise, like a banana flavoured chocolate chip cookie. &amp;nbsp;That's an improvement, I say! &amp;nbsp;But then other times it really sucks, like a banana flavoured tuna sandwich. &amp;nbsp; I do wish, from time to time, that they'd mind their own business and stop influencing everything else in my lunchbag.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="221" border="0" align="right" width="330" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/908355.jpg" /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. They are sensitive little guys who tend to spill their guts.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I sometimes run late and toss my lunch into my bag and jet to work.&amp;nbsp; I'll stick my hand in there to find my phone or something later and come out with banana goo all over me, and everything else in there, too.&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;like bananas very much, but this usually makes me use my big girl words.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;4. They are not arachnophobic. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Tarantulas like to live in banana bunches and hide out in there for food and safety. &amp;nbsp;When&amp;nbsp;I was little, my mom told me about this and I thought she meant that they lived inside the bananas themselves.&amp;nbsp; I refused to eat any banana that had big dark spots on it because that meant the tarantula was growing.&amp;nbsp; Don't peel a banana like that or you will find yourself on a one-way trip to Spider City.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;5. They believe in the holy trinity.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; If you're eating a banana, take a bite and then stick your finger in the circle you just made. &amp;nbsp;It splits itself into three equal sections!&amp;nbsp; Isn't that convenient for . . . banana splits and blogging about bananas?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;6. They are like dinner sometimes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I often find myself struggling to eat a banana because they are so filling. &amp;nbsp;Not like wimpy apples or oranges -- these guys actually fill you up!&amp;nbsp; That's a good benefit because sometimes I&amp;nbsp;take a pear or something and it doesn't do the trick and when three o' clock comes, Mama's hungry.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;7. They are very accommodating.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; You can peel a banana from both ends!&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;like to peel from the stem, but my husband likes to peel from the bum.&amp;nbsp; That's just plain rude, I say. &amp;nbsp;I&amp;nbsp;guess it just depends on what kind of banana personality you have.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;8. They are very patient.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; This is one fruit you really, really can't eat before it's ripe . . . a green banana, if you can even get the peel off at that point, is so crunchy and nasty that you will just throw it away and feel bad that you wasted it.&amp;nbsp; Don't push these dudes -- you WILL&amp;nbsp;regret it.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;9. They have a good sense of humour!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; There's nothing very funny about an apple core or a lemon rind . . . but oh, man!&amp;nbsp; Warner Bros. would be many laughs shorter had banana peels not been so hilarious.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;10. They can be a pretend pee-pee.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;p&gt;What's not to love about that?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;11. They got stuck to an animal.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I can't think of any other fruit that is synonymous with any creature the way bananas are with monkeys.&lt;/p&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=48140</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>A Quick Jaunt to Bananatown</title> </item> <item> <description>Well! &amp;nbsp;I decided to spruce up the joint.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; For some reason, the PNGs aren't looking so hot in IE.&amp;nbsp; But, as my sweet design vixen pal (whose brain I picked to no end) N. says, &amp;quot;people who use IE don't deserve to see nice things.&amp;quot;&amp;nbsp; WHAM!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Really, though. &amp;nbsp;I'll try fooling about with it when I have some free time, just to get you Microsoft lovers something more exciting. Until then, I do invite you to &lt;a href="http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_Mozilla_Firefox_better_than_Internet_Explorer_7"&gt;come to the Firefox side&lt;/a&gt;.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; As it stands, I've devoted far too much time to this today, so there you have it.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;em&gt;(Merriment ensues, alarums, exit.)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=46004</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Redesigned!</title> </item> <item> <description>How do I say, how do I say?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; What's to talk about?&amp;nbsp; I think I'll just embarrass myself.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: large;"&gt;Top Ten Silly Things I Do, Like or Enjoy&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; 10.&amp;nbsp; Leaving time on the microwave.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; Pete hates when I stop the microwave a few seconds before it's going to beep and don't clear the time off. &amp;nbsp;Maybe that's why I&amp;nbsp;continuously do it. &amp;nbsp;He'll never know.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;(;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; 9.&amp;nbsp; Singing extra loud in church.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; I, unfortunately, was not gifted with a beautiful singing voice. &amp;nbsp;My mother once told me I&amp;nbsp;&amp;quot;couldn't carry a tune in a bucket&amp;quot;.&amp;nbsp; Perhaps that traumatised me?&amp;nbsp; At any rate, I&amp;nbsp;LOVE&amp;nbsp;SINGING and I&amp;nbsp;sing A&amp;nbsp;LOT, always along to every song because I know tons of lyrics.&amp;nbsp; I've been doing it for years, and I sometimes think it's not as bad as it was when I was younger.&amp;nbsp; Anyway.&amp;nbsp; I don't care that I have a not-so-amazing voice. &amp;nbsp;In church, I sing hymns loudly because I don't want people to think I'm ashamed of my voice, weak as it is. &amp;nbsp;Well!&amp;nbsp; Two Sundays ago, a lady actually turned around and said&amp;nbsp;&amp;quot;I&amp;nbsp;think you have a lovely voice&amp;quot;. &amp;nbsp;Maybe she felt really sorry for me, or maybe she actually thought that.&amp;nbsp; Either way, I'm not about to turn down the jam anytime soon!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;8.&amp;nbsp; Pretending to be a barista.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; We have a cute, little espresso machine at work.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;I like to do challenges to see how pretty I can make my drinks. &amp;nbsp;I'd never cut it as a barista&amp;nbsp;IRL, but it's sure fun to foam the hell outta my 2% every morning.&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;7.&amp;nbsp; Secretly liking entertainment news.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; When ET&amp;nbsp;Canada or eTalk comes on Global, I&amp;nbsp;groan and say SUCH&amp;nbsp;TRASH and BORING! &amp;nbsp;Secretly, though, I&amp;nbsp;love these shows. &amp;nbsp;I can't stand to watch them for more than half an hour (which is probably why they're only ever that long) but I&amp;nbsp;do get a weird sense of satisfaction out of watching them. &amp;nbsp;It's like reading a magazine without, you know, all those &lt;em&gt;words&lt;/em&gt;.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;6.&amp;nbsp; Hiding my Monopoly money.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; This is a dumb strategy that I&amp;nbsp;learned from my little sister.&amp;nbsp; Whenever we'd play Monopoly as kids&amp;nbsp;(Monopoly Junior, actually) we'd slip some of our money under our bums and sit on it until it was juuuuust right.&amp;nbsp; We did this to trick one another into thinking that we had less money than we did, and then KA-BLAM!&amp;nbsp; We'd lace the board with itty bitty hotels and laugh maniacally.&amp;nbsp; We termed this extra cash &amp;quot;butt money&amp;quot;, and I still tend to think of my savings in such a way.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;5.&amp;nbsp; Frequenting &lt;a href="http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/"&gt;People of Walmart&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; WHY&amp;nbsp;do I like this site so much?&amp;nbsp; It's trashy and mean. &amp;nbsp;GO!&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;GO! &amp;nbsp;You won't be able to help it, either.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;4.&amp;nbsp; Changing the words to popular songs.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; I have no idea why, but I like to alter the lyrics to songs to suit the situation in which I&amp;nbsp;happen to be listening to them.&amp;nbsp; For example, here are a few of my past gems:&lt;br /&gt; &amp;quot;She's got eggs! &amp;nbsp;And she knows how to eat 'em!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt; &amp;quot;Won't you take me to Peteytown?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt; &amp;quot;Slow down, you're movin' too fast / You've gotta make that diaper last / Just wipin' down the baby's bum / Plugging my nose and feelin' poopy!&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;3.&amp;nbsp; Dropping random 1337 phrases.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; This isn't a cool thing to do at all, but I like to do it anyway.&amp;nbsp; I'm going to avoid cliche by choosing to forgo writing in 1337 during my 1337 explanation.&amp;nbsp; That, my friends, is how I&amp;nbsp;roll.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;2.&amp;nbsp; Holding my breath during underwater scenes.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; I&amp;nbsp;just need to know I&amp;nbsp;could rescue somebody if anything bad were to happen. &amp;nbsp;The longest I've done so far seems to be when Scotty was in that water pipe in the new &lt;em&gt;Star Trek&lt;/em&gt;.&amp;nbsp; I really thought I was gonna pass out!&amp;nbsp; And be reminded that I&amp;nbsp;have a handicap in that I'm sitting on my sofa and don't have a huge adrenaline rush.&amp;nbsp; Getting that pumping's gotta add a least, like, fifteen seconds or something.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;1.&amp;nbsp; Being a &lt;a href="http://www.cbc.ca/stevenandchris/"&gt;Steven and Chris&lt;/a&gt; superfan.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; This was my mat leave show!&amp;nbsp; I now stream it every day on my lunch at work, and am periodically made fun of for it. &amp;nbsp;I&amp;nbsp;DON'T&amp;nbsp;CARE, IT&amp;nbsp;IS&amp;nbsp;GREAT. &amp;nbsp;These dudes are super funny, super informative (waa waa, shut up, they are too), and super Canadian.&amp;nbsp; What more do you want? &amp;nbsp;Honestly!&amp;nbsp; If I&amp;nbsp;lived in Toronto, I&amp;nbsp;would go to a taping at least once a week.&amp;nbsp; They give out awesome stuff to the audience!&amp;nbsp; I was devastated when Stephen Harper was a bum to the CBC&amp;nbsp;last year and these guys missed a season. &amp;nbsp;UGH.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=44422</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>The Loife of the Woife</title> </item> <item> <description>Pete and I have been laughing at this site all week!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.regretsy.com/"&gt;&lt;br /&gt; Regretsy&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; YOU&amp;nbsp;ARE&amp;nbsp;WELCOME.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=44198</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>I Just Need to Share</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" height="132" width="125" vspace="0" border="0" align="right" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/823468.jpg" /&gt;I got a new &lt;a href="http://geniusnet.com/geniusOnline/online.portal?_nfpb=true&amp;amp;productPortlet_actionOverride=%2Fportlets%2FproductArea%2Fcategory%2FqueryPro&amp;amp;_windowLabel=productPortlet&amp;amp;productPortletproductId=1090048&amp;amp;_pageLabel=productPage&amp;amp;test=portlet-action&amp;amp;ed=/Global/HQ/English"&gt;tablet&lt;/a&gt; for Christmas, thanks to my fantastic husband!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; We use Ubuntu (Linux) at home, and courtesy of our handy partition, also have Windows XP.&amp;nbsp; My new friend is super-easy Plug and Play, and at home it didn't take anything to get it to work.&amp;nbsp; Huzzah!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; However, I'm at my office right now, trying to draw tomorrow's comic, and I can't get my lovely little tablet to work.&amp;nbsp; There are no drivers I need to install, the battery in the stylus is brand new, and my computer has recognised the new device.&amp;nbsp; But, whenever I try to draw something, only the mouse will control the cursor.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I'm pretty savvy, so this is pissing me off.&amp;nbsp; Ubuntu, generally, is a total pain in the bum to configure stuff with, but even IT worked without a problem, not to mention the version of Windows we have at home.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I don't know why I don't just get myself a MacBook and call it a day.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=42882</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Plug and Play With My Emotions</title> </item> <item> <description>I&amp;nbsp;feel very frustrated every day taking the metro to and from work. &amp;nbsp;This is the only way I&amp;nbsp;could think of to make myself feel better about it. &amp;nbsp;It really is the most stressful thing about my life . . . and I'm a young mother with a grad student husband and I work a full, 40-hour week. &amp;nbsp;That should tell you something!&lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; 10. People not letting others off of the train before cramming onto it themselves.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; This doesn't even begin to make sense to me.&amp;nbsp; It just causes a lot of pushing and shoving, frustration, and you don't save any time at all.&amp;nbsp; The metro would have to wait for them to get off anyway, and you're making it slower, in fact, by barging through and causing such confusion.&amp;nbsp; Just a plain rude thing to be doing.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="215" border="0" align="right" width="287" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/782112.jpg" alt="" /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;9. The STM jerks not being friendly and helping people who need it.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; One day, I let go of my pride and I actually asked a lady at the ticket counter to find someone to help me carry my stroller down the enormous stairs.&amp;nbsp; The escalator was broken, and I just didn't have the energy to do it - I didn't think it'd be safe.&amp;nbsp; She said &amp;quot;Well, we don't provide the crew for that.&amp;quot;&amp;nbsp; And that was it.&amp;nbsp; I did it all myself, and got no help.&amp;nbsp; She wasn't even sympathetic to my plight.&amp;nbsp; I understand that you don't have the most glam job, but geez . . . what happened to your compassion?&amp;nbsp; Even with simple things (charging up your monthly pass or asking questions) these guys are always pretty surly. Just be nice!&amp;nbsp; It's not so hard.&amp;nbsp; I, too, have a job that includes talking to people, and I'd NEVER treat them that way - no matter how shitty my day has been.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;8. Commuters who wear backpacks or huge handbags on crowded buses and metros.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; During the rush hours, it can be hard to fit everyone on the bus or metro who need to take it.&amp;nbsp; So many people keep their backpacks or handbags on instead of putting them at their feet or holding them below waist-level.&amp;nbsp; This is a terrible waste of precious space!&amp;nbsp; Many more people could fit on if you wouldn't do that . . . not to mention that you constantly smash into people, unbeknownst to you, with your stupid, effing bag.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;7. Jerks.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Commuting sucks as it is!&amp;nbsp; There's no need to make it worse with a crappy attitude.&amp;nbsp; Sometimes babies cry on the metro, sometimes it's really crowded, sometimes the trains aren't on time.&amp;nbsp; If you remain positive, you'll make it nicer for everyone else, and in turn, for yourself.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;6. People who don't pay attention.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; If you're texting, lost in your iPod, or just spaced out for a minute, try to make sure you've moved out of the way to do it.&amp;nbsp; It can be a real instigator of bad behaviour if you aren't keeping everything organised and are making it difficult for other people to get where they are going.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;5. Lack of buses to keep up with volume during peak hours . . . and slow times, too.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Many times, I've had bus after bus fly past my stop because there is no room to let anyone on.&amp;nbsp; This is not THAT bad in the warm months, but during the winter I'm dreading freezing my ass off while waiting for a bus that actually has the room for my frozen self.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;4. Whiners who get pissy when a mom brings a stroller on board.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; We need to get places, too.&amp;nbsp; It's very stressful, taking public transit with a small child.&amp;nbsp; Try to think of that, and don't make the mom feel bad for inconveniencing you for ten minutes out of your day.&amp;nbsp; Be happy that it isn't you having to deal with that!&amp;nbsp; It really, really sucks.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;3. Having to share personal space with smokers.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Ugh, gag!&amp;nbsp; I understand smoking is a personal choice, but I feel so sick having to smell it constantly while commuting.&amp;nbsp; I can't even talk about this because I get so disgusted.&amp;nbsp; Sorry if you smoke, I just really hate it.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;2. Young, able-bodied people who don't give up their seats. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I don't understand how you can sit there while an older person, a pregnant lady, someone with an injury, or a mom wearing a baby sling has to stand and pray for divine intervention so they don't topple over.&amp;nbsp; You are not considerate!&amp;nbsp; Sure, you can say that those people should ASK for a spot . . . but sometimes, they are too shy or don't want to make a fuss.&amp;nbsp; You ought to think of others who are in more need than yourself.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; 1. People who get dangerous because they are in such a rush.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; NOTHING is important enough that you need to smash into people, barge past parents with strollers on the escalator, or make people trip because you are LATE or in a hurry or don't want to miss the metro that just pulled in.&amp;nbsp; Really!&amp;nbsp; Potentially hurting someone because you are being so selfish is really the worst thing you can do.&amp;nbsp; Be patient and careful, and be respectful of those around you!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; One more because I&amp;nbsp;just thought of it: The metro breaking down.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; This happens with such regularity!&amp;nbsp; I can't go a full week without some problem happening . . . usually on the line I happen to be taking, in the direction I happen to be going.&amp;nbsp; Sometimes, it's a five minute delay, other times, the entire line is shut down for most of an hour.&amp;nbsp; There's really no way you can prepare for it.&amp;nbsp; You just have to make sure you're in a good mood that day, I guess.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Okay, I think I&amp;nbsp;feel a bit better about that, now. &amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=40148</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>My Top Ten Commuting Antipathies</title> </item> <item> <description>As it's well clear by now, though my exterior may fool you, I'm a pretty big nerd.&amp;nbsp; To prove my point, I: &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;love TNG, Battlestar Galactica and Star Wars . . . in that order.&amp;nbsp; (;&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;possess a working knowledge of basic HTML&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;have memorised the first ten decimal places of pi . . . that may not seem impressive, but do remember that I was an Arts major.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;have, on more than one occasion, read the dictionary for fun.&amp;nbsp; Ask my sister about the definition game we invented . . . yeah, she's an undercover nerd, too. (;&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;understand what HAXORS means.&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; Anyway, I'm setting the stage for you to understand my other nerdish tendency - I like to do Whois searches on popular domain names to find out who hosts them.&amp;nbsp; I'm not sure why, but I like knowing that Digg.com hosts with Godaddy.&amp;nbsp; Maybe it's a product of my profession, but I just think that's super interesting.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, I was Whois-ing some big names this morn, and came across some pertinent info.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="646" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="627" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/754315.bmp" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Get laid?&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;Download movies?&amp;nbsp; Do whatever Chiquita Sexy is?&amp;nbsp; Facebook, you've changed.&amp;nbsp; For the better, obvs.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="640" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="626" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/754324.bmp" alt="" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Ohhh, so Gulli.com is where I ought to go to expediate my search for crackz! &amp;nbsp;And all this time, I've just been checking my underpants.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="592" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="572" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/754317.bmp" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I&amp;nbsp;won't argue the 1337ness of Gulli, but I will argue that MySpace&amp;nbsp;users probably aren't flocking towards Itshosted.com with megabytes upon megabytes of pictures seeking an e-home.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I'd kinda like to go check out some of these renegade domains, but I'm worried that it'll eff up my computer (and life, in the case of Chiquitasexy.com) if I do. &amp;nbsp;I'm curious, though.&amp;nbsp; A quick Whois on Gulli.com presents me with this:&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="628" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="624" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/754403.bmp" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; It appears that Gulli.com has either hacked itself, or another hacker has hacked a hacker.&amp;nbsp; I choose to believe the latter is true, as it gives a rare glimpse into the cutthroat world of Internet infiltration.&amp;nbsp; Every hacker for him- (or her-, or in the case of bots, it-) self! &amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; My plan of action is as follows:&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="367" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="624" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/754477.bmp" alt="" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The advantage of .ca domains is that they are regulated by &lt;a href="http://www.cira.ca/" target="_blank"&gt;CIRA&lt;/a&gt; (Canadian Internet Registration&amp;nbsp;Authority) which is super-secure and keeps my shit private.&amp;nbsp; I, at first, was sad that the .com wasn't available . . . but upon further reflection, am glad that Comicsans' Whois shall forever remain unhaxors.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=38313</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Social Networking Haxors</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" border="0" align="right" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/721188.jpg" style="width: 236px; height: 177px;" alt="" /&gt;Today, on my way home from work, I saw something really astounding.&amp;nbsp; My office is very nice and modern, but is in a kind of sketchy part of Montreal.&amp;nbsp; It's not a dangerous place, it's just home to a different demographic than my own, family-friendly neighbourhood.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, I was getting to the metro station and I saw this homeless dude with his homeless dogs who were getting all conjugal in front of the doors.&amp;nbsp; He had his hat on the ground, and I was left to wonder whether or not that qualified him as a pimp.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Yeah, so that was the kind of day I had today.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=36134</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>One of Life's Many Mysteries</title> </item> <item> <description>I'm a nerd on the Internet.&amp;nbsp; I like to look at weird websites all the time, and procrastinate by enjoying the dumbest the 'nets has to offer.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I also like to take screenshots of crappy advertisements I come across on my daily trek along the information highway.&amp;nbsp; I consider myself to be a smart individual, and I find that the trash I'm inundated with is so poorly executed that I just can't ignore it.&amp;nbsp; Generally, I feel like we've become desensitised to most ads, but sometimes they're so shockingly stupid that my brain seems to start skipping.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="408" border="0" align="left" width="389" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/709413.jpg" /&gt;Courtesy of The Bay, the quintessential Canadian department store (if you forget that Eaton's ever was, which most of us have by now) I received this little gem in my inbox.&amp;nbsp; Now, I&amp;nbsp;know my fort&amp;eacute; has generally been English, but I did manage to learn to count at some point during the odyssey that was my formal education.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;p&gt;It would seem that the &amp;quot;five personalities&amp;quot; mentioned here aren't what they seem.&amp;nbsp; This band of nudies are Le bateleur (Juggler), L'imp&amp;eacute;ratrice (Empress), L'amoureux (Lover), La roue de la fortune (Wheel of Fortune), and La lune (Moon). &amp;nbsp;It appears that one of them has a split personality, as I can clearly count six people in this ad.&amp;nbsp; I'm assuming it's the Juggler, as there's probably a lot of juggling going on to keep his shit straight.&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;think whoever designed this ad just wanted to get as many hot, naked people touching each other as possible.&amp;nbsp; The more flesh, the better, I say!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Add that to the fact that I didn't know any of those were personalities and&amp;nbsp;I can say that this advertisement is a shitty expression of a shitty idea.&amp;nbsp; I have never described my personality as &amp;quot;moon&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;wheel of fortune&amp;quot;, but I&amp;nbsp;suppose there may come a day for that. &amp;nbsp;I&amp;nbsp;guess I can't be too harsh on these guys.&amp;nbsp; It is their &amp;quot;first D&amp;amp;G fragrance anthology&amp;quot; after all. &amp;nbsp;It shows they CAN, indeed, count, so perhaps a sunny future may come to pass.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="468" border="0" align="right" width="133" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/709415.jpg" /&gt;While flipping through a few pages in the Facebook, I&amp;nbsp;happened to notice a weight loss ad. &amp;nbsp;That's funny because those ads are probably the most prevalent on the Slice, but really. &amp;nbsp;That Beacon advertising stuff&amp;nbsp;generates me a lot of flab-blasting remedies, which has me wondering why they think I&amp;nbsp;need it. &amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, the trouble here is that I&amp;nbsp;really do have a hard time believing that that is the same chick. &amp;nbsp;I&amp;nbsp;mean, kudos to her if it really is, but goodness. &amp;nbsp;I'm legally blind and I can clearly see that these pictures are showcasing two very different faces.&amp;nbsp; E-mail me if you think I'm wrong, but geez.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, the real craptastic aspect of this assault on my senses is the poor lady on top. She is the before picture on a weight loss ad and she's wearing A&amp;nbsp;TOP&amp;nbsp;THAT&amp;nbsp;SAYS&amp;nbsp;&amp;quot;SWEET&amp;nbsp;NOTHING&amp;quot;.&amp;nbsp; Disregarding the allusion to pillow talk and that's a sad dig at the poor woman.&amp;nbsp; Sure, put a food-related catchphrase shirt on a disheveled, overweight woman.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;I'm sure the soaring ego she has concerning her body image could use a little shakedown.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; You know, a fit person wearing this would even find it compromising . . . a bombshell in a top that says such a thing would be projecting the idea that she may be sweet, but there's nothing to her at all.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, perhaps I'm reading too much into that (a likely possibility) but you know.&amp;nbsp; This chick cut down five pounds of belly fat each week by obeying &amp;quot;these 1 simple rule&amp;quot;. &amp;nbsp;I don't think matters of the written word are of much consequence to her.&amp;nbsp; She has bigger problems than her belly if she can't competently formulate a sentence that includes a non-plural noun.&lt;br /&gt; &amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="597" border="0" align="left" width="156" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/709414.jpg" /&gt;Really, that brings me to the final example of poorly executed advertising that I have for you today.&amp;nbsp; There's something about the modern use of English that has me cringing.&amp;nbsp; I find that, generally, most people don't know much about proper writing. &amp;nbsp;I admit that I, of course, may splice the odd comma or split the rare infinitive, but at least I&amp;nbsp;know that those are naughty things to do.&amp;nbsp; I find that many people don't know that their using words the way they seen them wrote with out thinking about the rules.&amp;nbsp; Thats a sad way to do it, and your wrong if you make those kind of choice's.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Bad copy is bad copy.&amp;nbsp; I know the use of colloquialisms helps the media connect with the common person, but really . . . who wants to be treated like a commoner?&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, Dr. Oetker here seems to be taking his doctorate for granted.&amp;nbsp; Of course, the glaring mistakes are not present (spelling errors, apostrophe abuse, you get the idea)&amp;nbsp;but another, more subtle tenet has been ignored. &amp;nbsp;If you read this sentence &amp;quot;Whirlpool appliances, pizzas and more&amp;quot; a question is raised:&amp;nbsp;when the hell did Whirlpool start making pizza?&amp;nbsp; The ambiguity of the sentence is confusing, unless I'm being led to believe that a pizza has been invented that will clean the dinner plate it's sitting on for me.&amp;nbsp; If that's the case, sign me up, Doctor! &amp;nbsp;I'd like to see what your Mama's got going on in her butler-pizza casa.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Well, wrapping this diatribe up, I'd just like to say that my reason for this tirade is this: if ad companies expect me to pay attention to their advertisements, maybe they should try paying attention to them themselves.&amp;nbsp; It's disrespectful not to present me with a palatable ad that I&amp;nbsp;may take seriously.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; And that's just what I think.&lt;/p&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=35378</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Badvertising</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" border="0" align="right" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/703258.jpg" style="width: 194px; height: 261px;" alt="" /&gt;OMGWTF.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; This is a bulleted bullshit list of my life last week: &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;Bedridden, in more pain than when in childbirth&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;No epidural&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Taking care of babyboy&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Missing many days of work, missing many dollars of pay&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Feeling guilty for slowing down my thesis-writing super-phys-husband&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; I&amp;nbsp;can't tell you what trials and tribulations I&amp;nbsp;have endured (what backlogs in housework and workwork) because my kidneys are fickle and uncompassionate.&amp;nbsp; They do not feel like doing their jobs, so they don't.&amp;nbsp; It's a sad state, and peeing has always got me on the edge of my seat.&amp;nbsp; TMI, perhaps, but &amp;quot;that's the reality . . . just another layer to the legend. &amp;nbsp;I am a human onion!&amp;quot; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Seriously, though.&amp;nbsp; Ever since I grew a baby, my body's become a different place.&amp;nbsp; The outside is the same&amp;nbsp;(I'd say it's even improved somewhat . . . I've got bigger boobs, though I&amp;nbsp;hate them, and much curvier hips now!) but the inside, well.&amp;nbsp; I'm learning that that's another story.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Have you ever gone to the emergency room on your own?&amp;nbsp; If you can avoid it, DO. &amp;nbsp;I was damned incoherent by the time somebody got to see me, and I&amp;nbsp;couldn't remember half the questions I&amp;nbsp;wanted to ask this guy.&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;always seem to have the shitty luck of getting a handsome doctor, too, who I&amp;nbsp;have to give a still-warm sample of my urine to.&amp;nbsp; Add that to the fact that when I&amp;nbsp;go to emerg, I&amp;nbsp;generally look like someone whose kidneys are kicking her ass and it's not much for the old self esteem.&amp;nbsp; Of course he was all cute and sweet about it, too.&amp;nbsp; If I&amp;nbsp;were an old lady, I&amp;nbsp;would have flirted.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, this is about the fourth time I've been on this odyssey in the past year and a half.&amp;nbsp; I can't seem to find out what my trouble is, because I can't seem to find a doctor to follow my sorry case.&amp;nbsp; It makes me feel upset because I would like to avoid renal failure, if at all possible.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; During my downtime, that is, when I&amp;nbsp;don't have an active infection, I&amp;nbsp;try to keep my sodium intake low (though I&amp;nbsp;just can stop it with the Friday night chips) and drink cranberry juice regularly.&amp;nbsp; I've noticed a pattern in that I&amp;nbsp;seem to get them when I&amp;nbsp;feel stressed out.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;September was absolutely the worst month of 2009, so that may have something to do with it.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, I&amp;nbsp;relate my tales and woes and fears in order to pass on this simple message:&amp;nbsp;if you can't FEEL your kidneys, you are a truly blessed soul. &amp;nbsp;Two years ago, I&amp;nbsp;wasn't even really sure WHERE my kidneys were, but unfortunately, I&amp;nbsp;can now tell you their whereabouts are with much more accuracy than I'd prefer to.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I've been on some antibiotics and have had to avoid dairy foods, which sucks.&amp;nbsp; I&amp;nbsp;loves me some dairy.&amp;nbsp; Chocolate milk is like my magic elixir and makes my body feel good when I start to feel flat.&amp;nbsp; The pills make me super-nauseous (not good when combined with public transit, FYI) and get a migraine (not good when your job requires you to stare at a computer screen all day, FYI) so the side effects are pretty shitty.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, that's just my bitchfest.&amp;nbsp; I'll be 100% by the end of next week (please, Jesus?) so perhaps I'll have formulated some plan of action. &lt;p&gt;Until then, I'm going to eat myself stupid over Thanksgiving and be happy that this is something I may just get over one day.&lt;/p&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=34905</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.083Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Pyelonephritis: A Tale of Two Kidneys</title> </item> <item> <description>Sorry, I'm just excited that I asked the Internet for&amp;nbsp;pizza and it's bringing it to me. &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=33204</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0986Z</pubDateParsed> <title>ONLINE PIZZA PARTY!</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" border="0" align="right" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/659229.jpg" style="width: 270px; height: 203px;" alt="" /&gt;I am a mom who works.&amp;nbsp; A working mother, you might say.&amp;nbsp; It's a good life, a busy life, and a life that demands that I be two separate people in the same, skinny body.&amp;nbsp; There's not room for us to both fit!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I find that I try to keep a few base things the same: my general cheerfulness and friendly disposition, my ability to engage in witty banter, my desire to keep my shit organised, and my love of proper English.&amp;nbsp; However, there are a few things I can't do at work, and a few things I can't do at home.&amp;nbsp; This is probably for the best (so I assume) but some days, I wish it wasn't so.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; When I'm at the office, for example, I can't tell people on the phone to FO, even though that may be the way I'd like to respond.&amp;nbsp; It's not that I do that at home, but at least there I can throw myself onto the bed and scream into my pillow should I feel the need to take a tantrum.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; In reverse, I can't exactly make a ticket for my housework and let the design team deal with it.&amp;nbsp; I have to take care of all my own shit (and the baby's, and to a lesser extent the husband's, though the diapers are much more problematic, let me tell you), which completely blows the bag.&amp;nbsp; I really think I'm going to be the sort of jerk who hires a house cleaner.&amp;nbsp; My mother will probably slap me, but my goodness.&amp;nbsp; I'd rather buy chintzy shampoo and pay for someone to clean my shower than wash my hair with crushed pearls and scrub that effer myself.&amp;nbsp; A maid shall be my true indulgence.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; As a sidenote, I'm mad-insane about housework.&amp;nbsp; That's probably why I get so stressed out about it.&amp;nbsp; I like things TIDY.&amp;nbsp; If the dishes aren't washed, if the floor's not swept, if there're toothpaste flicks on the mirror, Mama gets busy.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; However, however.&amp;nbsp; Some days I feel momLorri and workLorri bleeding into one another.&amp;nbsp; Customers call in wanting tweaks to their sites and I find myself procrastinating like they're dirty laundry.&amp;nbsp; And at home when my mom calls and I get off the phone, I automatically feel the need to make sure I put an action on the company file.&amp;nbsp; It really is madness, don't you know.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Anyway, I suppose this is just the way of the North American woman.&amp;nbsp; If it's not, well, it's the way of someone married to a grad student.&amp;nbsp; I suppose I've realised that there's wifeLorri, too.&amp;nbsp; Three mes in one brain in one body in one life.&amp;nbsp; These are exciting times.&amp;nbsp; I hope to remember them fondly.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; But really, what the hell.&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; I think I'll just shake this shit up a bit.&amp;nbsp; Perhaps these divisions I've set for myself are superfluous.&amp;nbsp; Maybe I'll start blurring the lines a bit.&amp;nbsp; I'll think of websites like dirty diapers and mealplanning like DNS switches.&amp;nbsp; Is that wrong?&amp;nbsp; Is that weird?&amp;nbsp; Who can say?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Have you ever been so busy that you get bored?&amp;nbsp; I think that's where I'm heading.&amp;nbsp; So much stress I'm bored of it.&amp;nbsp; Is there a name for that?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I don't know, but what I do I know is that there is a remedy.&amp;nbsp; It's this new thing: JUNK FOOD.&amp;nbsp; Let's make some more room for these other mes to get a bit of breathing room.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; See you in ten pounds!&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=31956</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0986Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Banana Split Personality</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" height="375" border="0" align="No Alignment" width="435" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/645171.bmp" alt="" /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I&amp;nbsp;do not understand this advertisement at all. &amp;nbsp;I deal with Netsol pretty regularly for domain transfers to the webhosting company&amp;nbsp;I&amp;nbsp;work for, and on the whole,&amp;nbsp;I find them to be very anal-retentive.&amp;nbsp; A very control-freaky company, IMHO.&amp;nbsp; They've recently undergone a rebranding of sorts, but I had no idea this perverse gold-digging bride and Colonel&amp;nbsp;Sanders look-alike had any part in it.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; As I understand it, Network Solutions is aiming at three different target markets:&amp;nbsp;brides who want to build a wedding site, old men who are looking to become tech-savvy, and socially-mismatched couples who are looking for an outlet to spread their stories abroad, to GO&amp;nbsp;FARTHER than our workaday, North-American society is willing to let them.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The INTERNET accepts EVERYONE.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; That, or the bride is like some angel on this trickster's shoulder . . .with no devil to stop her!&amp;nbsp; That's it! &amp;nbsp;Netsol is so powerful that they have completely obliterated Satan himself.&amp;nbsp; Glory day!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Another thing about this &amp;quot;ad&amp;quot; that I&amp;nbsp;don't understand is why the bride is in colour, and the old man is in black and white. &amp;nbsp;Is this to say that the bride is enjoying the full vibrancy of her youth, and the man is now entering the winter of his lifecycle? &amp;nbsp;Is that to say Network Solutions will span a lifetime?&amp;nbsp; Or did some graphic designer have a deadline to meet and just pulled the first images he could find on Flickr and slapped them up to call it advertising?&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Compound that with the general poor-quality, shitty-res pictures they have used, and I can tell you these biznatches aren't hosting shit from me!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;What will Network Solutions do for You?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; They'll keep your brides blushing and your old men doing the same - but in a monochormatic colour palette, of course.&lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=30994</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0986Z</pubDateParsed> <title>What the Hell?</title> </item> <item> <description>I&amp;nbsp;will not argue with anyone who says commuting sucks. &amp;nbsp;I often wish I could push eject on my brain as soon as I get to my metro station, but unfortunately without the aid of narcotics, this option is not available to me.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes it can be actually DANGEROUS&amp;nbsp;in the rush hours because people's brains are all over the place and everybody needs to get their bums to their offices ASAP.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; But!&amp;nbsp; I would like to tell you something about the moving stairs.&amp;nbsp; There is one side for people who are in it for the free ride, and one side for turbopeople who want to walk up or down the stairs and BE FAST.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;img hspace="10" height="133" border="0" align="right" width="200" vspace="0" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/629338.jpg" alt="" /&gt;I'm a turbowoman, but sometimes the freeriders stand on the wrong side, and make it hard for me to get where the hell I'm going.&amp;nbsp; It's annoying and makes me crabby because I invariably miss my metro or bus.&amp;nbsp; It also makes it unsafe!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Sometimes, I have to go on the escalator with the baby stroller (I hate that this situation even exists, but that's a whole other rant) and then another thing happens where the turbopeople turn into jerks who bump into the stroller and sometimes freak me out and make it unsteady and it is scarytown.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So chill the eff out and don't bump into moms and kids and shit, and stay on your side of the escalator so the rushing people can rush and the babies can poo out of choice and not anxiety.&amp;nbsp; It's possible to be both in a hurry AND&amp;nbsp;considerate at the same time.&amp;nbsp; It sounds crazy, but trust me - I've done it!&amp;nbsp; It can take a lot of willpower, but it can happen for you like it happened for me.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Being a jerk on the escalator is an urban faux-pas and YOU KNOW IT.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br /&gt;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=29893</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0986Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Esca-SEE-YA-lator</title> </item> <item> <description>&lt;img hspace="10" height="150" border="0" align="right" width="150" vspace="0" alt="" src="/_mndata/petelorri/uploaded_images/599293.jpg" /&gt;In Quebec, this Monday is not considered a holiday and nobody really gets it off . . . even though the rest of the country does. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; However, I happen to work for a company that has customers all across Canada, and so I reap the rewards of both being able to purchase alcohol at the grocery store AND enjoying said alcohol on a leisurely, Civic-y Monday. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; We ALSO sought our pleasures on St. Jean Baptiste Day, though Quebec is the only province to enjoy it. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The moral of this story is that if you have a soft spot for slacking, (I can only assume you do - you're frequenting webcomics and their derivative blogs), I'd suggest you try to work for an Anglo company in a Franco province. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; It's a really beautiful blend of cultural idiosyncracies . . . and vacation pay. (;</description> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/blog.page?ArticleID=27885</link> <pubDateParsed>2012-02-07T03:25:02.0986Z</pubDateParsed> <title>Long Weekend (Quebec is Different)</title> </item> <lastBuildDate>2/6/2012 10:25:01 PM</lastBuildDate> <link>http://www.comicsans.ca/</link> <title>comicsans / a webcomic by lorri watson</title> <pubDate>2/6/2012 10:25:01 PM</pubDate> <webMaster>lorri@comicsans.ca</webMaster> </channel> </rss>